I haven’t been covering this Tiger Woods madness because I thought you would all be sick of the over saturation, but this voicemail of him issuing a “Man down, code 10″ to his mistress just handed me my first guffaw of the morning. Unfortunately, our friends at Worldstar missed the first part of the audio where he says “Hey, it’s Tiger.” He’s making it so easy for Kelis and them. Women who’ve been done dirty by their cheating ass husbands are having the best week ever!
Oh Tiger, what a tangled web we weave when we first we learn to tell a fib….
Anyway, he issued an apology this morning via his blog: I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone…..Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions. Read more…
Once again, Kim Zolciak, her wig and this time Dakota Fanning’s Barbie dress (they keep getting younger) visited my favorite tranny recently to chop it up about all the drama in the show, the 911 call that came from the alleged “choke a bish” incident with NeNe, NeNe’s book, and Big Poppa. Notoriously outspoken on her radio show, the Wendy on tv has been noticeably stoic and overly friendly so I was surprised when she said that she believes the things NeNe wrote about Kim in her new book. She even asked if she had had any plastic surgery done. Miss Zolciak of course denied that she had, even though her lips suspiciously look alot like Tiny’s these days. *side-eye*
Dear Kim,
One who does not like drama, does not appear on a reality television show. Stop the madness. Oh, and one more thing - we don’t believe you.
When a huge celeb dies, it’s like a throwing an object into an ant nest - you watch everyone suddenly scatter from the hole making ridiculous claims and trying to cash in on the misfortune. Sad really. And so it is that the godfather of Michael Jackson’s children (yes the GODfather) is claiming he could be the father of Jackson’s daughter Paris. Le sigh….here’s the info viaTMZ:
Mark Lester — a longtime friend of Jackson’s — says M.J. asked him if he would donate sperm during the time the singer was married to Debbie Rowe. He says a London clinic contacted him and he obliged with the donation. Lester claims there’s an uncanny resemblance between his 15-year-old-daughter Harriet and Paris. Lester, who spoke with News of the World, says he is willing to take a paternity test. Lester says he has “concerns about the welfare and upbringing of the children.” Lester says he does not currently have contact with Jackson’s three kids and it’s “heartbreaking.” Lester did not say he’s gearing up for a legal fight, but the signs are there ….
Before I begin, I’d just like to point out that Dylan is NOT, and I repeat NOT Jamaican. No self-respecting, God-fearing Jamaican would have any parts in this bloodclaut tomfoolery. I know I haven’t done one in a while but he needs a Looseneck letter - after the vid.
Dear Dylan,
We here at Looseneck have been observing your behavior in the entertainment industry for quite a while now, and the time has come for us to ask that you cease and desist. We respectfully request that you disappear from the industry, a plan which Diddy and now you have already embarked upon. However, we ask that you extend this departure to include YouTube, zShare and any other form of publicly accessed media. We already have Real Chance to contend with, and quite frankly, that’s enough.
Never thought I’d say this, but thank you to WorldStar for providing this clip of Que’s latest bitchfest on the last episode of MTV’s Making The Band. If you can make it past the first 5 minutes then you’re far more tolerant than I am. Every time I watch this show, you can be sure a Twitter rant on how much Que agitates me is sure to follow. I really thought it was impossible, but Que just might embody EVERY thing I hate in a man, especially now that he’s gotten the gayest hair style ever! Some blame the “change” in Que on drugs. I think he is going THROUGH the change. It’s either that or he desperately wants to come out of the closet and doesn’t know how. I think it’s time for a letter (after the video).
Dear Que,
It is 2009, it’s okay to say it “I’m Queer and I’m Here!” We won’t judge you, we just don’t want you stagnating all the progress we’ve made in the past year. We already have DMX to contend with, and that’s enough. Maybe you and that Mormon guy on The Real World can come out together.
